In Memory…

In memory

Of a girl

Who once believed

In easy fairy tales

Like waking up a swan

Finding out you’re a princess

Falling in love forever

Children, work, retirement, family forever

The ultimate Disney movie

Lived in the flesh

 

But then there were days, weeks, months,

Years

Of mania

Followed by eons of

Desperate depression

Like endless icy tundras of pain

 

My fairytale

Was (and still sometimes is)

A nightmare of

Perpetuity

 

I tried to create my own end

 

Drinking

Drugs

Pills

Sex

Money

Food

Driving myself off a cliff… out of

My not-fairy-tale

But to an

Ending

 

It would

Not

fucking

work

 

And eventually

I got so

Goddamn tired

Of failing

That I stopped

And asked for directions…

 

I’m still working my way

Free of the tundra

The chasms of darkness

And even off the pinnacles

Of temporary madness

 

Never to a fairytale finish

But maybe to a homespun

Folktale

 

A life lived

In honor of

That girl

 

Who lives

In my memories

(And Hallmark movie marathons)

Now

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