Hot & Bothered

Part of why

I left my husband

Back in 2002

Was his tendencies to yell,

Throw things,

Sometimes get into fights (though I

Never witnessed that)

And punch things –
Walls, doors,

Windows…

In my house,

When we were in trouble,

Things got quiet
“I’m very disappointed in you…”

Was a fate worse than death

Because we’d guilt trip ourselves 

And punish ourselves 

Good little Catholic girls

But I’ve noticed 

More and more

There have been times

When I dream

Passionately

About punching people

Screaming at them

Writing truths on social media 

Or, my versions of truth

I was told

Not to align myself 

With a local woman 

Running for state Senate

Because the incumbent 

Would make me regret it…

So, my being a paid

Face painter

Making children look like

Superheroes and butterflies 

And Lego movie characters

Is a bold political alliance on my part?

What about bartending at drag shows?

Or tutoring kids in the juvenile justice system?

Does the fact that I belong

To an Irish club make me

A part of subversives?

(Did I mention that my mom is 100% British?)

How about my year as a volunteer living in 

Mobile, Alabama?

I was an AIDS Case Manager then

And

You’ll be horrified 

I dated a black man.

I know, shocking.

Perhaps, just perhaps, mind you,

The fact that there is any person 

Willing to use threats & intimidation

To remain in a political role

Should motivate 

Everyone to seek a new choice.

Even if that lady

Is radical enough 

To hire

A face painter

Who likes to write.

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2 thoughts on “Hot & Bothered

  1. Thanks Jennifer for your most honest writing about the anger inside: “More and more

    There have been times

    When I dream

    Passionately

    About punching people

    Screaming at them”—–this is so hard for many people to do but first, you have to know your feelings, your emotions….then you can decide on how to put them into practice or simply to explore them until you really know yourself. Your writing here is a tonic for many woman (and, probably, a few men) who find themselves holed up with an angry man…..a man who hasn’t grown up enough to express his feelings in words, talk them over, communicate in a relationship and accept help…..this is not so good (to say the least)…..good for you, Jennifer, for laying this all out….
    Daniel

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